


If Only it Were That Simple...

by WarriorQean



Category: Jack Ryan & Related Fandoms, Jack Ryan (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Eating Disorders, F/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Torture, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:42:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22869544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarriorQean/pseuds/WarriorQean
Summary: Jack and Cathy have kept their relationship a secret for as long as possible, Jack fearing that something might happen to the woman he loves if they go public.Unfortunately, neither of them are any good at hiding their love for each other and a single slip up may cost them both their lives.
Relationships: Cathy Muller/Jack Ryan, Jack Ryan and Jim Greer
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

She was thinking about Jack.

Okay that wasn't really fair. She was always thinking about Jack. Even if she was at work and completely focused he was there, like a small whisper in the back of her mind. They'd been together for six months and twenty-three days. 

She pretended that she wasn't counting the days like a lovesick teenager (but let's face it she knew she was). It was electrifying to be with him. Every touch, look, kiss, small smile made her wanting more and more of him. They had both agreed within a week of being together that they should keep their relationship on the down low. His job was dangerous, and even Cathy couldn't ignore what people might say.

So they had been careful for nearly seven grueling months. Seven months of stolen kisses and meeting in quiet diners and Jack flying off without warning for days on end. He would come back as quick as he had left and suddenly he would be there to pick her up from work. They had talked about it many times. If they could survive what happened to him. 

And they had. 

She should have known it would have all gone to shit. 

It was dark when she went to her car. A single street light was on in the parking lot. She could feel the shivers crawl up her spine and walked faster. She fumbled with her keys though and the last thing she knew there was a bag over her head and she was slammed into her car door. 

\---

Jack knew something was up. 

Cathy hadn't texted him back since he had shot her a good morning text as he woke up. She had called the day before, telling him she would have to cancel as there had been a new development of some disease. They had departed with a simple "love you" and had hung up with her promise to make it up to him the next night. He still couldn't shake the feeling that something was off though. 

Jack quickly shook himself out of the state. As far as everyone else knew he was a single white guy with a hook-up problem. Keeping the relationship quiet had been a necessity for Cathy's safety. He hadn't let on the full extent of what could happen though; there was only so much he was willing to put on his girlfriend. 

The meeting was over soon after that. He talked to a few people and got the information he needed before making his way back to his office. Once there he shut the door and pulled out his cell. 

Nothing.

He was sure she was fine. A momentary lapse in judgement. A dead phone. Perhaps even a new development in her research and she needed to work more vigorously than usual. All of those situations were perfectly plausible and normal. But that was just the thing. Normal. He was a high up operative in the CIA, the word that least applied to him was normal. He turned on his computer and sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. He would give it until the end of the day, then he would let all hell break loose. 

\---

The bag was torn off her head and Cathy sucked in a breath at once. There were men all around her and the most prominent feature in the room, a camera aimed directly at her head. 

Her hands were bound and one of the men - middle eastern she thought - stepped forward, crouching in front of her. 

"Dr. Cathy Mueller," he sneered. She sat up straighter.

"What do you want?"

The man gave her a laugh, "Oh Dr. Mueller, it is not what we want but who we want."

And with that the beating began.

\---

Jack finished up his report and hit send. The day had been stressful no doubt, but he has managed to ignore the itch to check his phone every three seconds.

It was officially five, and he allowed himself to look at his texts.

One new message.

He clicked it open, seeing a video link sent from Cathy. Frowning, Jack opened it.

Screams filled his ears.


	2. Part 2

"Ryan. Ryan. Ryan!"

Jack finally stopped pacing the director's office. He had watched the video and then raced out of his office to the elevator. He had burst in on one of the directors meetings. There had been quite a bit of yelling and apologizing before he had been listened to. Greer had been in the building and a few other important people had been called in. The video had played and watched by all. A discussion was currently underway of what to do. 

He had begun pacing when they showed Cathy's face, a bloody neck and fearful eyes. 

Greer had been sitting in silence and watching him for the duration of the video and now discussion. Jack knew he was watching him for any signs of snapping, and if he was being honest that time was nearing quickly. The hand on his arm stopped his movement and a single look of understanding from Greer made him resume his seat. 

Eventually the woman at the head of the table spoke, "This attack, though a threat to americans, was not directly connected to any threat of the CIA or any other american intelligence agency. Many americans have been previously taken hostage by terrorist groups and this committee sees no ultimate reason to deploy troops when we have much more pressing concerns. Thank you."

The others stood and began to make their way out and back to their jobs, but Jack started quickly towards the director, or any other person who was above him. He was stopped once agin however by Greer. he fought him as he was dragged into a smaller conference room off of the main one. 

"Let me go," he hissed, "I just need to reason with them a bit more."

Greer chuckled, "Boy you are never going to learn are you?"

The door was shut and Jack jerked his arm away before staring down the man in front of him. "I have to do something! I can't just stand by while they're doing god knows what to-"

"Do you need an adjustment in that head of yours Ryan?" he had the most concentrated look on his face, "They've already said no. No one is changing their mind after that, you'll never convince-"

"With all due respect Jim when have I ever listened to anyone."

He chuckled. "Well if that ain't true I don't know what is." The older man thought for a moment, then looked up at Jack. "Are you in the mood for a trip?"

\---

Jack was currently in his townhouse haphazardly packing a bag. He included few clothes, favoring instead money and any information he had picked up about the people who had Cathy. The familiar deathly feeling was there in the pit of his stomach. It had been since he had heard the first scream from her throat. 

Jack had been fighting the need to throw up for hours now, but without someone to talk him down from his normal coping skill he found the impulse getting harder and harder to avoid. He shoved in the last file and stopped, hands on either side of the suitcase. He tried to ignore the voice in his head playing over and over again. 

Then he caught sight of the picture. 

It was a small one, the only one that had ever been taken on Jack's phone instead of hers. They were smiling, and Cathy was wearing his old Boston College sweater cutting up some kind of vegetable for dinner.

Flashback ----

"Why are looking at me like that?" She giggled, something she only ever did around him. It sent happiness to every fiber of his body. "It's not like I'm doing anything special you know," Chop, chop, "They're only peppers." He had come up behind her then, wrapping his arms around her waist and loving the feel of her hair on his neck.

"Well," he told her teasingly, "Maybe it's because you are, hands down, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." 

She had turned up to look at him then; smiling perfectly and not knowing that the timer he had set up on his phone went off at that exact second, capturing the moment forever as he kissed her with the most love he could muster.

End flashback ----

He barely felt his feet touch the floor as he collapsed in front of the toilet and repelled his entire day from his body. He threw up until there was nothing left to throw up and he was just spitting saliva. The feeling in his stomach was gone, replaced by the normal feeling of bliss after he would purge. 

He knew that if Cathy was there she would have held him, told him that she was there for him and that he needed to come to her if he ever felt the need to throw up again. There had always been that single shred of pity in her eyes though. And it was always that bit of pity, of fear that kept him from leaning over a toilet. 

But Cathy wasn't there. 

And it was his fault.


End file.
